I don’t like making resolutions; they don’t stick (with me anyway), and why wait until January to make a change? This year, however, I have made one. I have decided to become worry-free.
This is not something that comes naturally to me. Worry has been my constant companion for my whole life. Do you know whose middle name is Worry? Me, that’s who.
As long as I can remember I have been a mildly anxious person (I hesitate to use that word, because my anxiety is the old-fashioned kind; not debilitating, just annoying). As a child – as my mum will attest to – I was the one nervously biting my nails in the car on the first day of term. Not because I was worried about the first day back, but because I was terrified that we had made a mistake and it really wasn’t the first day back at all. ‘What if everyone else came back yesterday, and I’ve missed a day?’
Is that weird? The same with non-uniform day, my stomach would be in knots, until I caught a glimpse of a classmate sans uniform. I’m pretty sure that’s a normal worry though. Right?
As an adult, things haven’t been much better to be honest. I have worried my way through new jobs; new experiences; pregnancies; meeting new people; old jobs I don’t like anymore; not having enough money; and less frequently, having enough money (in case it disappears)…. You name it, I’ve worried about it.
But NO MORE! As of 2017, worry is going in the recycling bin. It’s going to come out as happiness and contentment.
My reasoning behind being a big fat worrier, is that if I worry about it (and expect the worst) then I won’t be disappointed when the worst happens. But NEWSFLASH, this is extremely flawed logic.
Over the last 13 years I have been pregnant six times, and have four children. You could argue that my anxiety during those pregnancies was justified, but did it do any good? Heck no.
“What’s comin’ will come,
an’ we’ll meet it when it does” – Hagrid
My final pregnancy was by far the most stressful, after suffering a late miscarriage the year previously. So I worried. Oh, I worried like never before. Thankfully my daughter was born happy and healthy in 2014 (albeit back to back – awkward child that she is).
One thing I am certain of – my worrying did not create this gorgeous little being. In fact, she is the most nervous and anxious of them all. I would go as far as to say that my high stress levels during the pregnancy caused her to be a nervous child. Me worrying about that would be pointless though. I owe it to her (and my other children) to be a calm and rational role model.
The thing about worrying is that it doesn’t stop bad days happening, it just ruins the good days. And where’s the fun in that?*This post may contain affiliate links. Thank you for your continued support of Joyful Things!*